Have you ever felt like you’re a little lost in life? Not sure of your purpose or what you want to do or where you’re even going?
For the majority of my adult life I have felt lost. Don’t get me wrong, there’s always things we know we want like a new car, more money, exotic holidays etc. But realistically, can we all honestly say that we know exactly what we want with no going back or changing our minds? There are people who have had their objective from ‘day one’ and have been chasing their dream ever since. I always looked at those people in frustration, wondering why has everyone else got their shit together and not me?
The feeling of want and negativity took over and instead of doing something about it, I sat in self pity and thought to myself “why can’t that be me?”. I had the complete wrong perspective on this and after a few hundred times of repeating this to myself it just clicked. I wanted all these things to be proud of, but what have I done to achieve it? I realized that I was looking at everything wrong, this could be me! This was where I decided to make a change.
Start thinking about your strengths
Start thinking about what you enjoy, what you are good at and how you make a difference. By identifying your strengths and visually looking at them, you automatically feel empowered and can begin to make a decision on what you want to do.
If you’re like me and do not like to talk highly of yourself, this list may be harder to write whereas creating a list of weaknesses is easier to write. Try and be honest with yourself and take your time. Here are the three I came up with:
- Compassion to others – animal lover and the welfare of animals, vegetarian
- Helping people – whether that’s helping friends, family or colleagues when they are in need or giving tips to make their lives a little easier
- Great listener – If someone has a problem, I care. I will put my feelings aside to listen to someones – sometimes for hours on end and really help as much as I can
From looking at my list, it clearly shows I like to help people and animals. I began to think about what I could do to follow my passion as well as my strengths.
Firstly, I began this blog. Writing mostly tips about mostly household, mental health, money and beauty from personal experiences. I believe if my tips can be useful to another person, then my work here is done.
I decided to volunteer at an animal shelter, making myself as useful as possible by cleaning, walking the dogs and playing with the cats!
Stay in your own lane
Once you have set your goals or made small changes, remember to be happy for others success, but do not measure yourself against them. Stay focused on your goals and follow them at your realistic pace.
Careers are great, but is that what really matters?
Building your career and climbing the company ladder can be really fulfilling. If this is something you are interesting on doing, that’s fantastic! It’s great to have ambition to rise and improve but there is a saying that follows me wherever I go: “When you die, they say you look back over your life. Do you only want to look back at your career?”
I guess this is debatable as every person is different. I know people who want nice things therefore they work so hard to get them and it is so well deserved.
My take on it is that people and memories make your life. Memories are what you will always carry with you, your family and friends will always be there for you. But of course, that’s someone who loves to travel and make those type of memories. Again, everyone is different and it depends on what really matters to you, it’s a personal thing that only you can answer. And when you do, as long as you are doing what matters to you, that’s all that matters!
Be realistic and look to improve yourself
There is always room for improvement. If you are as self judgmental as I am, I’m sure that you already know this. It’s really hard to stop being so hard on yourself.
Write a list of the things you feel that you need to improve on, this could be anything, then get someone you trust to be honest to read over it. This may be a close friend, partner, family member, mentor or your manager – someone who cares enough to add to the list or question why you have selected certain areas to improve.
Remember that we are our own biggest critics and our own ego’s can get the better of us by letting us think we are worse than we are or that people read too much into what we do ‘wrong’ when in reality, most people don’t read into that at all. Think about it, if someone makes a mistake in work and gets the wrong word in a sentence do you think “what an idiot they don’t know what they are talking about” – very unlikely. It’s our mind-talk that makes us dwell on our own mistakes and insecurities.
Keep striving forward. Don’t look back
Only look back to see how far you have come – and that’s it. Keep yourself motivated by setting short term goals that push you a step closer to achieving your end goal.
Have ambition, but be appreciative of what you have
Wanting what you don’t have can lead to unhappiness. Sadly, I see this a lot in people. While being ambition is amazing, it means you are motivated and working to better yourself and your life, you need the right balance of ‘want’ and ‘already have’.
In your lifetime, have you ever heard your mother or father say “Eat your food, there are people in the world that are hungry and are not as lucky as you!”
Its so true! We have all been ungrateful in our lives. People (maybe not everyone, but generally speaking..) throw away left over food, have change in their pocket but walk past someone in need of spare change, see an awful story on the news, feel bad and then carry on with our day etc. While we can’t change what is happening in the world, we can be more compassionate and appreciate how lucky we are.
You may want to buy your own home and are frustrated because you can’t yet afford the deposit and have to save for an extra year – at least you have a home to go to.
I could give so many examples but you already know. I read somewhere that if you have food in the cupboards, a bed to sleep in, clothes on your back and are well enough to get out of bed and go to work every day, you are richer than 75% of the world. Let that sink in.